Sunday, 14 February 2010
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BACK!
I need you girls more than ever. I have just been played by a dog and used by men like crazy. I'm done with this crap...I'm loosing weight. It is my number one priority now.
What I have been doing
- Working out daily for half hour
- Eating four small meals a day
- 15-20 minutes of pilates everyday
cw: 123
GW1: 115
Saturday, 09 January 2010
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I will be back
Taking a few days off of xanga to get ready for school. Stay Strong ladies and I look forward to reading and commenting to your blogs in the near future.
Thursday, 07 January 2010
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0-4 and Mary Kate thinspo
I bought some jeans from Express (I buy all my jeans there). They were back up pants just in case I never fit into my zeros again. They are a size four and when I put them on...they fit WELL. I had to everything to stop myself from crying. How the hell am I supposed to fit a zero again when size four fits me too good? I went to try on my size zeros and I got them on but they were too tight around the waist. They gave me a lil muffin top and that's just disgusting to me. I have no choice but to fast. I don't have a whole summer to do this healthy...I have less than 12 days to get rid of five pounds.
Jillian Michaels work out is only good for really heavy folks. All it's doing is giving me toned arms and tree trunk legs. I need hips bones, ribs, and thighs that don't touch. Being firm is not the goal here. I am already two workouts down and have one more to go. Losing weight has never been this hard for me- I don't know what to do. When it's all over, if I don't hit my goal, Ryan likes big butts so I will at least make somebody happy.
Mary Kate Thinspo- she used to be my inspiration until I saw a pic where she looked like a moose (pics from yahoo images). Quality bad
Sorry about this one.
Blury but kinda a moose
Wednesday, 06 January 2010
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Farmhouse and lil thinspo
Off to the farm off...that's what I call the psychiatric hospital. I will sit there and let the doctor ask me all kinds of answers. What I have got to share with him will only make him increase my meds which I don't want because these meds are making me dummer. Literally. I forget my thoughts mid conversation...spelling? Don't even recognize word combinations. How did I end up Dr. Kirsh's guinea pig?
A stupid rich boy named Tim left me for his slut ex. girlfriend. I thought I would be sad for a week (max) instead it went on for three months. I wasn't myself; I wasn't putting on makeup and dressing up. I was just going to class and going back to my room. My friends would ask me, "why are you so sad about him?" At first I was sad about him...then I was sad about everything. I was forced to see a counselor because the school thought I was an alcoholic
. I yelled at her one day and she got up and said, "I think you need a little help". One year in and....I hate the doc because they WEIGH YOU THERE! I don't want to know, but they tell me anyways.
Thinspo taken from PhotoBucket
Tuesday, 05 January 2010
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Resolution 3 and lil Thinspo
Resolution 3: Snag Ryan
I have been following my resolutions pretty well. Ryan is this senior who sat behind me in my political science class. He doesn't talk much, but something told me to talk to him. I lack shame, so I can do things without being self conscious (lucky me eh...). I started out by saying hello, then calling him boo ( just to see what he would do), to asking him questions about work and stuff (of course I already knew), to asking him to have coffee with me (which he did), to studying with me for final exams (we didn't study just talked for hours). I can make him laugh and we text every few days which he seems to enjoy. I don't want to jinx myself, but this could be the one I end up with in 2010. It gives me hope, and I'm learning to be less dumb and desperate.
I followed my new plan perfectly. I felt good and I didn't feel hungry. I worked out three times and I feel strong and liberated. Can't wait for today.
Thinspo: Borrowed it from Yahoo images and photobucket.
